I hate weddings! Not all weddings… I should probably say that “I hate shit/boring/naff/impersonal weddings”. The ones with all the pomp and ceremony but no real grit.
I, Alana Salm am a Marriage Celebrant and Professional Party Starter and I hate dull weddings.
I do however love to hang out with groups of merrymakers, pump up the energy in the room and make the tiny humans show off their new duds or twirl for applause. I then love to go on to tell some cracker stories about some crazies that fell in love, laugh enough that my chubby cheeks obscure my vision as I smile and somehow in the mix of having everyone slapping their knees and simultaneously crying I manage to legally wed the aforementioned crazies.
Sometimes I like to sing ( I’m not good at it. I just like to do it) while all the marrying is going on and what I like to do even more than sing is making groups of unsuspecting guests sing! It can be both cruel and hilarious which equals barrels of fun, mostly its just magic though and I know for sure my families and couples are still reminiscing about the surprises I have pulled off for them. *Surprises have not been limited to song singing and have included many random and not so random happenings that add excitement and emphasise their personal brand of love and radness.
I travel far and wide to ‘Marry The Shit’ out of the most chill and vibrant couples you could ever think of (mostly with a glass of prosecco or beer on hand).